Lets you agree to anything with the calm certainty of someone who has read nothing.
Why Hell Stocks This
The Blinkers were designed after Hell learned that humans will hesitate for six minutes over a pizza topping but approve 41 pages of legal language because the button is blue. Morgan Ellis from Denver once accepted a revised data policy while saying, "I should probably read this", which remains the cleanest known form of consent theatre. Satan admires this. It is not laziness. It is faith, but pointed at the worst possible institution.
Offence Processed
Does not limit consequences.
Reading one heading voids the purity of the act.
May include arbitration in a location you cannot spell.
What You Receive
Payload Consent waiver
A waiver card stating "I agreed to the unknown and would do so again".
Payload
Consent waiver
Cost
666 Corruption Credits
Fulfilment
Digital delivery
Best used as
Self-indulgence or assigned evidence
Sin detected. Balance restored to 666 Corruption Credits.
Satan's Shop is a parody novelty service. No souls are bought, sold, transferred, appraised, improved, or professionally harmed.
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NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.
