Lets you agree to anything with the calm certainty of someone who has read nothing.
Why Hell Stocks This
The Blinkers were designed after Hell learned that humans will hesitate for six minutes over a pizza topping but approve 41 pages of legal language because the button is blue. Morgan Ellis from Denver once accepted a revised data policy while saying, "I should probably read this", which remains the cleanest known form of consent theatre. Satan admires this. It is not laziness. It is faith, but pointed at the worst possible institution.
Offence Processed
Does not limit consequences.
Reading one heading voids the purity of the act.
May include arbitration in a location you cannot spell.
What Actually Happens
Hell issues a consent waiver confirming the buyer entered the agreement with confidence and no useful information.
Who is this for?
666 Corruption Credits
Sending corruption to someone else is free and encouraged. Keeping one for your own soul takes a signed
contract.
NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.