Marketplace / HellDesk / Infernal Compliance Rock

Infernal Compliance Rock — infernal product card

Infernal Gift Evidence & Artefact HellDesk

Infernal Compliance Rock

A black stone reading "TURN ME OVER" on both sides. An eternal, futile task.

Object History

The Rock is the only product HellDesk has never had to patch. It performs perfectly forever. Turn it over and the instruction remains. Ignore it and the instruction waits. Satan appreciates the honesty. Most suffering pretends to have a process. The Rock looks you in the eye and offers a task with no progress hiding inside it.

Offence Processed

Further notice is not scheduled.
Productivity may be imagined.
Do not ask whether you are done.

What Actually Happens

Hell assigns a serial number, opens a case page, and provides no next step that helps.

Who is this for?

Included with membership

Sending corruption to someone else is free and encouraged. Keeping one for your own soul takes a signed contract.

NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.