Reveals that the bin should have gone out yesterday.
Known Behaviour
The Prophecy is always accurate and always too late, which Satan considers the cleanest possible prophecy. It arrives with the distant sound of a truck, a sudden household silence, and someone like Paula Briggs from Geelong saying, "Was that today?" while holding recycling that has already lost the war. The card warms slightly when denial begins.
Offence Processed
Does not reverse trucks.
Recycling guilt sold separately.
Shared bins may generate family proceedings.
What Actually Happens
Hell sends the prophecy 90 seconds after usefulness has left the street.
Who is this for?
666 Corruption Credits
Sending corruption to someone else is free and encouraged. Keeping one for your own soul takes a signed
contract.
NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.