Marketplace / HellDesk / Case Escalation Denial Letter

Case Escalation Denial Letter — infernal product card

Shareable corruption Infernal Bureaucracy HellDesk

Case Escalation Denial Letter

An official letter confirming your case cannot, and will not, be escalated.

Leslie's Notes

The Letter was created to solve a serious problem inside HellDesk: customers kept asking for someone senior. There is no one senior. There is only a different desk, a darker chair, and the same answer printed on heavier paper. Leslie once tried to escalate a printer issue under the alias Kevin L. from Facilities and received three copies of this product by internal mail.

Offence Processed

There is no one above the signatory.
There may be no signatory.
Further appeals will be routed to the same drawer.

What Actually Happens

Hell issues a formal denial with a signature that appears to have been stamped during a sigh.

Who is this for?

666 Corruption Credits

Sending corruption to someone else is free and encouraged. Keeping one for your own soul takes a signed contract.

NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.