Marketplace / Work / Chair Height Adjustment Warrant

Chair Height Adjustment Warrant — infernal product card

Shareable corruption Curse Work

Chair Height Adjustment Warrant

Someone lowers their chair by one notch. They will never find it.

Known Behaviour

Satan rarely calls a product elegant, but the Warrant earns it. No injury. No drama. Just a person spending all day feeling slightly wrong and blaming posture, shoes, age, the building, and eventually themselves. Leslie says this is the most evil thing in the catalogue. He may be correct, which has made him unbearable.

Offence Processed

Strictly one notch.
Prepared enemies with fixed-height chairs are exempt.
Side effects may include desk resentment.

What Actually Happens

Hell authorises one chair-notch adjustment and denies all knowledge.

Who is this for?

666 Corruption Credits

Sending corruption to someone else is free and encouraged. Keeping one for your own soul takes a signed contract.

NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.