Rounds selfish acts down and kind acts emphatically up.
The Calculator was built for people who do one nice thing and immediately start looking for what it entitles them to. It has three buttons: Round Down, Round Up, and It Was Complicated. Satan wanted a fourth button labelled They Started It, but testing showed humans already press that internally.
Calculator
A calculator receipt showing actual conduct, adjusted conduct, and self-awarded margin.
Hell runs one moral calculation using numbers supplied entirely by the beneficiary.
More Moral Accounting
Satan's Shop is a parody novelty service. No souls are bought, sold, transferred, appraised, improved, or professionally harmed.