Postpones one owed apology to a future period that will never feel convenient.
Why Hell Stocks This
The Voucher is popular with people who plan to apologise properly once things calm down, which is a beautiful phrase because things have never calmed down in the history of anyone. It was first issued to Nina Cole from Bristol after she described an apology as "basically drafted in my head" and then asked whether anyone had seen the parking receipt. Satan does not love conflict. He loves the small silence after both people know what happened and one person chooses to talk about parking.
Offence Processed
Deferral compounds.
Not accepted by partners who have started using your full name.
Cannot be redeemed after 'fine' has been said more than twice.
What Actually Happens
Hell records the apology as "pending with confidence" and issues a deferral window measured in tension rather than days.
Who is this for?
666 Corruption Credits
Sending corruption to someone else is free and encouraged. Keeping one for your own soul takes a signed
contract.
NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.
