Reminds you at 11:58 PM, when only panic and sincerity remain.
The Time Bomb is small, patient, and deeply funny to Satan. It waits all day while you remember, forget, remember again, and decide you will "do it properly later". Then it wakes up at 11:58 PM, as it did for Colin Baxter of Wellington, and hands you a blank text field with the emotional weight of a courtroom.
Emergency alert
An emergency birthday alert with panic level, sincerity debt, and approved salvage text.
Hell delivers a late alert and three inadequate opening lines.
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Satan's Shop is a parody novelty service. No souls are bought, sold, transferred, appraised, improved, or professionally harmed.