Removes 60 percent of the shame from wanting the thing you were advertised.
Why Hell Stocks This
The Wipes were developed after Hell learned that people do not mind being influenced as long as they can call it research. The contamination is not the purchase. The contamination is saying "I found this myself" while using a discount code named after a stranger's dog. Satan respects the funnel. He just thinks the denial needs packaging.
Offence Processed
Does not remove the product from your cart.
"Everyone is talking about it" increases contamination.
Sponsored sincerity may leave streaks.
What Actually Happens
Hell reduces visible ad residue, restores partial dignity, and issues a certificate confirming the buyer had independent taste before the campaign started.
Who is this for?
666 Corruption Credits
Sending corruption to someone else is free and encouraged. Keeping one for your own soul takes a signed
contract.
NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.