Five small lies, pre-aged so they sound like things you might actually say.
Why Hell Stocks This
The Kit began as a training product for junior tempters, but humans kept improving it without being asked. "Sorry, I just saw this" was submitted by Jodie Tran from Vancouver, who had in fact seen it, opened it, discussed it with two people, and made tea. "Traffic was insane" arrived already sticky. The premium lie, "I was about to message you", had to be moved behind glass after it escaped and reproduced in group chats.
Offence Processed
Starter kit only.
Larger lies require infrastructure.
Do not combine with location sharing.
What You Receive
Payload Starter kit
A kit card showing five approved phrases and a warning label: "Harmless until remembered".
Payload
Starter kit
Cost
666 Corruption Credits
Fulfilment
Digital delivery
Best used as
Self-indulgence or assigned evidence
Sin detected. Balance restored to 666 Corruption Credits.
Satan's Shop is a parody novelty service. No souls are bought, sold, transferred, appraised, improved, or professionally harmed.
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NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.NOTICE: Souls are non-transferable, non-refundable, and largely non-existent.NOTICE: This is a parody. No metaphysical services are rendered.NOTICE: The Devil is a brand persona, not a counterparty.NOTICE: Corruption Credits hold no monetary value and never will.NOTICE: Further notice remains unscheduled.